“In my next life I want to live backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then, Voila! You finish off as an orgasm! I rest my case.”—Woody Allen (via fadedghost, quote-book) (via 500daysofapril)
“Maybe sometimes it’s a good thing to stumble, because there’s a better way to stand. Maybe we need to cry sometimes, because laughter cannot hide the worst. And maybe that’s why we get hurt, for us to pass on the lesson and teach someone else.”—Unknown (via creatingaquietmind)
So this guy just walks into the art gallery where I work, points to the art, and says “this is it?” Yes this is it! No let me pull the rest of the artist’s work out of my butt, that’s where we keep the good stuff. Dumbass.